Monday, August 30, 2010

What I've been up to....

Thought I'd better add a little note to my blog so you all know I am still alive! I have not been blogging or creating lately, so I wanted to share what's been going on in Sherrie's world.
(It reads like a 'Dear Diary' beware!)
First of all, we are in a transition back to school. My youngest starts Kindergarten tomorrow, and I have been getting things ready, ie: school supplies, clothing, practicing getting up early, eating breakfast and getting dressed quickly. Also practicing our phone number and address, and such.
I am an emotional mess, which I really should not be. I have sent my two others off to kindergarten already, and even have one who graduated high school, so this should be a breeze. But no, it makes me sad.
Also, since my son is going to school now, I have to get a JOB.
I have been driving around north Spokane, trying to find someone who is willing to hire a gal with no references, no job history for the last 6 years, and no specialized training of any kind.
It is not easy. There are no jobs, and if there are, they are part time, minimum wage, no benefits, and going fast.
My husband has his own ideals of what jobs I should be looking for/applying to, and they do not exist. He wants full time, more than minimum wage, benefits, NO CRAFTS! And YESTERDAY.
So we did have a bout of WW III the other day over these issues, and it was awful. I hate fighting with my husband. It drains me for several days afterward. He is not being very encouraging, helpful, or even nice about it. And it is not helping my confidence or motivation level either.
So today, I am filling out more applications online, and keeping my fingers crossed for anything.
My garden is in full swing, and I have lots to do. Blackberry Jam, blanching and freezing green beans and carrots, weeding, watering, and fertilizing.
Maybe tomorrow.
We are so broke, and so we have been going up in the woods gathering firewood to sell on the weekends. It is hard work, dirty and scary for me. I don't like it, and my husband gets upset with me when I am nervous about driving near the edges of the embankments, or when we are pulling the logs out of the woods. I try to keep my mouth shut and hang on tight, while my heart is racing and I just can't breathe!
But until I get a job, I have to help "to do my part for the family'.
I am WAY BEHIND on my Designed2Delight Design Team responsibilities. I have not made any cards lately, and My Mojo is in temporary hiatus. I feel terrible about it. I have half a dozen images printed out, and displayed on my desk. Every time I walk past them, I feel sad that I cannot sit down long enough to create something.
Maybe tomorrow.
I used to work full time, was a single mom to 2 kids, and kept a clean house. Now, I am not sure how I did it! I just can't figure out how it is supposed to work. Our circumstances have changed dramatically in the last 7 years, making these things much more challenging. I may have to settle for a part time job, just for the reference and foot in the door, and my husband is going to be the one who has to suck it up! (feels good to say THAT!)
With all that said, and it feels good to say it, I am trying to keep my chin up. I have been through MUCH harder times in my life, and I am still functioning. So I know I can do this. I just wish my husband knew it too.
Thanks for listening,

1 comment:

  1. Dear Sherrie... I feel for ya and know where you're coming from. It must feel good to just be able to get that said, even if only on your blog (although I'm sure your hubby's already heard it all huh?) I'm sorry he's not being very supportive. It's hard finding jobs out there right now. As for the kids, esp. the young ones it'd be nice to have a job that allows you to work only when they're in school but still allows you to be there for them right afterwards. But I know there's also programs such as Boys and Girls club... unless your hubby is work-from-home or you have older kids to look after them. Anyway, I'll keep you in my prayers Sherrie that God will open the right doors for you and that things will settle down and you'll get some quality time with hubby. Sounds like his "insensitivity" is prolly coming from stress and frustration. Hang in there. THings WILL get better. Trust in the Lord--He wants to work things for good in your life. HUGS and Prayers!!


Your comments are so appreciated!